I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism at 4 years old; however, I did not know that I had it until I was 16 and in my sophomore year of high school. One day, my mom mentioned to me that I had what she called back in the day “autistic tendencies.” Although the term went over my head at the time, it did give me an idea of why I struggled so much with certain things.

When I was 21 and in my third year of college, I learned of my diagnosis of high-functioning autism and about the real challenges that I faced, especially with social interaction. Interacting and building relationships with others was (and still is) a challenge for me, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. I also have difficulty reading body language, facial expressions, and voice tones. As a result, I have difficulty deciphering what is meant as humor or sarcasm. It is difficult for me to understand what others are thinking or feeling, and (most of the time) I do not know (or cannot predict) how they’re going to react to something I say or do.

Throughout my childhood, there was little knowledge of, awareness of, or programs for individuals with autism or related disabilities. As a result, I often experienced insensitivity, discouragement, and general mean-spiritedness. There have been people in my life that I thought were my friends, who I later learned were not friends. This has angered me and hurt my feelings, and the experience has also gotten me into trouble every now and then. I have feelings, too. I struggle with confidence and positivity because of this.

Often, I feel like I have to try to be like everyone else. I feel as though I have to like what everyone else likes, eat what everyone else eats, and so on. There are also times when I feel forced to agree with someone or have a certain opinion on things. There are even times where I’m not sure what to think or feel about someone or something. I try really hard to be genuine and honest with my responses, but unfortunately, some people force me to say what they want to hear. I don’t like that. I want people to listen to me. I want to have a say in things.

Not everybody knows about or understands my autism, which is ok, but it doesn’t give them any right to scold me for any reason whatsoever. We’re people, too! I’m not perfect. Nobody is, and we never will be. As long as we live, we’re going to keep making mistakes. Yes, bad things may happen, but it’s the only way we’re going to learn. This applies to all humans, with or without autism.

Just because I have autism doesn’t mean I’m “bad”, ignorant, or lazy. I just need assistance in certain areas. All I ask is to be viewed as an equal and valued member of society. In other words, I want to be seen and treated like a human being, not like some sort of animal, criminal, or nuisance. I’m not asking for sympathy. I just want people to try to put themselves in my shoes. Not all my actions and words manifest what I think or feel. If you don’t know or understand something about me, please ask! Don’t just assume things. Don’t judge me until you’ve gotten to know me, and I’m not just saying this for myself. There’s more to the story than meets the eye. Having autism isn’t “bad” at all. It’s a very good thing if you have the right mindset. Give me (and others with autism) a chance! You could learn something.

I went to college to pursue my goal of making video games and cartoons. I have many skills. I make video games, cartoons, and I dance. I also have my own series titled “The Adventures of Micah”, which I hope to adapt into a real series someday with the goal of getting video games, movies, and its own TV show made. My work can be found in numerous places online.

A message to others growing up with autism:

Be kind. You’ll do fine.

Micah Bargas

2025